The nurse came in an I will spare you the details of a water breaking. You can imagine or don’t…
From there it was time to switch to the labor a delivery room. Just the mention of being moved to L & D made me pretty freaked out. Everything seemed to be happening at lightning speed.
At some point in the early morning hours, I succumbed to the pain and took a little medication. I was finally able to get some rest in between contractions. It was probably the worst sleep of my life (5 minutes at a time) but at least it was sleep!
John was sprawled on the makeshift chair/bed and kept getting up to hold my hand during the bad contractions. The night seemed to last forever.
When the sun finally came up and our doctor arrived for the day, we were more than ready to get rollin’ with the induction. I got situated with an epidural (because there is no prize for pain endurance) and they started my pitocin drip a little later than they originally planned.
I was pretty amazed by the epidural. The anesthesiologist was watching the monitor for a few contractions and kept asking “how that one was”. Couldn’t feel much at all! Woot!
The nurses said to get comfortable and rest because the real work was coming later that evening. They told us that we should have a baby in about 7-8 hours! At that point I was ready for some decent sleep and to restore my energy.
Everybody was keeping a close watch on Alex during my contractions because they noticed his heart rate kept dropping with each one. I guess that’s pretty normal, but it was how long he was taking to get back up to normal after the drop. They said there was nothing to worry about, so as exhausted as I was, I rolled over and finally drifted off…
What seemed like seconds after I fell asleep, two nurses rushed in, rolled me to my left side and sat me up a bit. John said I had a look of sheer panic on my face. My eyes were popping, I’m sure. I had no idea what was going on. The nurses said Alex wasn’t responding favorably to labor, but I didn’t really know what that meant. All I heard was “something is wrong.” Terrifying.
Our doctor made the decision to stop the Pitocin drip because nothing was really coming of it. I had stopped progressing and Alex wasn’t loving labor at all. She came in to talk with us and make sure we knew everything was alright but she didn’t see a natural delivery happening. She advised that we go ahead with a c-section (we always knew this was a possibility) and that it would be happening in a half hour.
Okay. Breathe. They just told you you are having a baby in a half hour instead of 7 or 8 hours.
With so much running through my mind, the next half hour was a big blur for me. I remember getting a dose in my epidural of something stronger. I couldn’t move my legs anymore or feel myself breathe. John was with me making sure I wasn’t having a meltdown. We rolled down the hall to the OR and everything got started.
I was shaking so uncontrollably. I was terrified that all of this was happening. And so fast. They had my arms strapped down and a warming thing blowing on my upper body and face. John was holding my hand and I had the sweetest nurse anesthesiologist. I couldn’t have asked for a better team working on me. They were all so calm; chatting about their vacation plans. Then, they said you are going to feel a lot of pressure, then a big relief. They told John he could look at that point while they pulled Alex out of my belly. It was the strangest feeling. It felt like an elephant had sat on my belly, then all of a sudden I felt empty. What felt like an eternity later, I heard the most beautiful cry as they held up a screaming baby, all arms and legs, over the curtain. I lost it immediately. I was so relieved! He was beautiful, my little nugget.
They took him over to weigh, measure, and clean him off. Before John took him out to the nursery, I was able to give him a kiss and probably terrified him with my sobbing.
The next hour or so felt like it lasted days. I was alone in the OR while the doctors worked. All I wanted was to see my little guy; the one person I waited nine months to see. I was glad John was able to go with him, but I wanted to be there too. I wanted to see his first moments, his eyes, listen to him cry and watch him wiggle around and sleep. I hadn’t mentally prepared for a c-section.
After everything was all closed up, they rolled me out into the hallway, past the nursery. I lost it again when I saw Alex laying in there with John, getting tested and whatever else they do. I saw my family and lost it some more. The rolled me into my recovery room and I was all alone. Just me and the nurse. My mind reeling and she working on something (I couldn’t focus on anything besides Alex). I had no idea why they weren’t letting my family in to see me.
A half hour later, John came in with Alex in his arms. It was the most fantastic sight I have ever seen. My two best men, the loves of my life, together. He handed Alex over to me and I can’t even explain the feeling. My heart was so full it felt like it would burst from my chest. I was so in love. We had some time alone before everybody else was able to come in. Alex was passed around; everybody showering him with love. I couldn’t stop smiling! I finally had my baby boy!
My sweet, sweet boy. I can’t believe it has already been a year. He has brought such joy and love to our lives. Everyday is a new adventure in learning with him. It amazes me how fast he is growing and figuring things out. His little personality shows a little more each day (sometimes good and sometimes too sassy!) We are so blessed to have such a wonderful baby boy. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have some birthday fro-yo to enjoy with my little bean!
